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You changed me a hell lot!

I used to sing in the shower. I used to spend hours dressing up. I used to embrace the sunny days as they'd warm me inside out. The cloudy skies would ignite excitement as the potterhead in me would await the new adventure. I used to love to smile, at random dogs craving my attention, at kids waving at me from their school buses, at acquaintances I have met only once, or just to myself recalling a funny incident. I would write about the bliss I called life as I would look at everything through my optimist's goggles. I would doodle cute romantic couples, write poems about the beautiful trees, the lovely weather or any new thing I had fancied. Don't I sound unreal, don't I seem a naive delusional kid.

You told me I was, and so after meeting you here I am. My showers have gotten quicker, dressing up seems futile. I hardly notice the weather. I can't sing, I can't draw, the old habits of writing poetry, short stories all seem so stupid, so I only write about my goals - and you. Happiness seems to frustrate me, happiness of others and so I have stopped making eye-contacts. I have secluded myself to this blog because people annoy me with their remarks about my career, my bad choices including you, my habits, life in general, or how I don't smile anymore. To be honest, I know I don't. I just can't bring myself to curl these lips in upward direction. 

For someone who said never change, you changed me a hell lot.

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