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Showing posts from April, 2021

The yes phase!

 Isn't it perfect? - you and I, having so much in common. You like me, I could tell. I like you too, don't want you to feel otherwise. But this mutual approval of each other is short lived, it's my 'Yes Phase' and you sir are enjoying the front row tickets right now. For 3 weeks, I'd say yes to almost anything you ask of me, want coffee? yes! wanna sleep in my bed - you betcha! wanna use my comb? - consider it yours! You'd think I like you, sometimes you'd also reciprocate. I'd be optimistic about your existence, would try to fit you in my life and all future plans. And just when you'd be in perfect comfort of my company, it would happen. Like a sudden wave, it'd hit your peace (and mine). I'd begin to resent you - because I realize I can't say yes all the time. I take notice of your whims and flaws. I would say no to your most basic requests, I'd distance myself from you and sometimes would be abruptly silent in your presence.  N...

Ah nostalgia ! thou art a heartless bitch

 Why do I watch the dumb teenage dramas, why am I still not over Harry Potter verse, why do rom-coms still make it to my watchlist?  I blame nostalgia and the feeling that comes with it.  Remember the times when world was exciting, you were discovering all these things (mostly through these teenage rom-coms ,novels , tv series) and the butterflies rise in your stomach. You know those momentary goosebumps. And it was such a great feeling, that sense of hope, mystery of future possibilities, when adulthood was one big adventure. And here we are in adulthood, soaked in routine, responsibilities and deadlines. Have you ever wondered what the word 'I' means to you now? What living for yourself feels like? And I am not talking about world travel shit, or living it recklessly, or selfishly , just living on your terms. I can't , you can't , because that's how the adult world works. It's sucking the life out of me, the glimmer of hope I had growing up, the will to learn ...